He devoted his whole life. He dedicated his life to people. “The Jesus Prayer was his main activity”

Permanent Representative of the Russian Federation to the UN Vitaly Churkin has died

“The Russian Foreign Ministry reports with deep regret that on February 20, the day before his 65th birthday, the permanent representative of the Russian Federation died suddenly in New York Russian Federation at the UN, Vitaly Ivanovich Churkin... An outstanding Russian diplomat passed away at work, the Ministry said in a statement. “We express our deepest condolences to the family and friends of Vitaly Ivanovich Churkin.”

V. Churkin felt unwell while in the building of the Russian diplomatic mission in New York, after which he was taken to New York Presbyterian Hospital, where he died. This was announced by Deputy Permanent Representative of the Russian Federation to the UN Vladimir Safronkov.

The exact cause of death of the Russian diplomat has not yet been announced. The New York Post reports that V. Churkin had “heart problems” and was unconscious by the time doctors arrived. According to the publication, he was taken to the hospital in serious condition.

Russian President Vladimir Putin expressed condolences to the family and friends of V. Churkin and the staff of the Russian Foreign Ministry. Press Secretary of the Russian President Dmitry Peskov noted that Putin learned with deep regret about the death of Russia's permanent representative to the UN.

Official representative of the Russian Foreign Ministry Maria Zakharova: “This is a symbolic person, a person who gave all his strength to serving our country, to all of us, who was at the forefront of diplomacy... To say that we are grieving means not to convey the feelings and emotions that we are now experiencing "

Condolences in connection with the sudden death of the Russian diplomat come from V. Churkin’s colleagues, from the UN and other international organizations.

First Deputy Permanent Representative Pyotr Ilyichev, speaking at a meeting at the UN Trusteeship Council, said that “the loss that Russia has suffered is heavy and irreparable.” “Ambassador Churkin remained at his workplace until the last moment. He devoted his whole life to protecting the interests of Russia, was at the most advanced positions and in the most intense positions,” Ilyichev said. “A prominent diplomat, a strong negotiator, a wonderful person, and a teacher has passed away. This is how he will remain forever in our memory,” he added.

The news of the death of Vitaly Churkin came at a time when the UN Trusteeship Council was discussing the revitalization of the work of the General Assembly. During the meeting, diplomats expressed condolences to the family and relatives of V. Churkin, as well as the Russian government. “We highly appreciate your solidarity, your sympathy, your support in these difficult hours for us,” P. Ilyichev thanked them.

UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres expressed words of condolences in connection with the death of the Russian permanent representative. He said he was shocked by the tragedy. “Even though we only served together briefly, I greatly appreciated the opportunity to work with him and will greatly miss his insight, skill and friendship. I pay tribute to his contribution to the UN and express my deepest condolences to his family, relatives, government and people of Russia,” Guterres said. According to the head of the UN, as a permanent representative, V. Churkin experienced one of the most difficult periods in modern history.

The UN Security Council adopted a statement regarding the death of the permanent representative. “The members of the Security Council expressed their deepest condolences to the family of the Permanent Representative, the government and the people of the Russian Federation,” says the document approved on the evening of Monday, February 20. “Members of the Council mourn the death of Poli, who spent more than forty years in Russia’s diplomatic service, headed the country’s mission to the UN for more than ten years, and who would have turned 65 years old on February 21,” the statement said.

The wit and sense of humor of the Russian permanent representative to the UN Vitaly Churkin will go down in the history of the world organization, says former UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. He expressed his condolences to the government of the Russian Federation, as well as to the family of the deceased Russian diplomat. According to Ban Ki-moon, V. Churkin selflessly represented his country and was an outstanding diplomat and intellectual. The former UN Secretary General added that it was an honor for him to work with Vitaly Churkin.

V. Churkin was a unique diplomat of the classical Russian school; it will be extremely difficult to replace him, said Federation Council Speaker Valentina Matvienko. According to her, Churkin’s death is “simply a tragedy.” “He died on duty. Recently, due to the tense external situation in the Security Council, he had, of course, to firmly defend Russia’s positions. It was constant tension. This was the case when the diplomat’s heart could not stand it,” added the head of the Federation Council. "It's a pity. Condolences to family, friends, and my colleagues at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,” she concluded.

On December 19, 2017, on the day of remembrance of St. Nicholas, Archimandrite Naum (Baiborodin), who before his tonsure bore the name of the Wonderworker of Myra, would have turned 90 years old. For 60 years, the priest was a resident of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra, and now, after his death on the eve of the Feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, we believe, he resides in eternal monasteries. For some, his prayer was a covering.

The elder is remembered by his children, disciples, fellow servants, mother abbess...

“The Jesus Prayer was his main activity”

Matthew, Bishop of Shuisky and Teikovsky:

It's hard to talk about such people... This is a great man. The seeds that he sowed in the all-Russian church field will still bear fruit, which we will see.

He penetrated into the past with his gaze, and into the future - like a prophet. What he said came true. Knew what every soul had gone through; could expose if a person had unrepentant sins. But I tried to guide him in such a way that in the future he could protect himself from the machinations of the enemy. Many miracles happened.

Father Naum himself was a very strict monk. It has never happened that he missed a rule without any good reason; he came to the fraternal prayer service when he was sick. Always attended the midnight office. At this time, you could take his blessing and ask him something.

He instructed the monastics, as well as the laity, in the Jesus Prayer. He himself lived by prayer and worked for the revival of intelligent work, which was being ruined in our country under the godless Soviet power. Wrote a Ph.D. thesis on this topic. He practiced smart work and inspired others to strive: “Before,” Father Naum was sometimes perplexed, “five hundred was the elementary work of monastics. Why aren’t we adopting it now?” He blessed everyone differently: some a hundred, some a thousand. Taught proper breathing when praying. Each one was approached individually. Prayer is a secret activity; there can be no general advice here.

It is said about the apostles: cloven tongues appeared to them as if of fire... (Acts 2:2-3). Saint John the Baptist indicated that the Son of God would baptize with the Holy Spirit and fire (Luke 3:16). And how I wish the fire would already ignite! (Luke 12:49), says the Lord. This fiery breath was felt in Father Naum.

I happened to be obedient to him as a clerk. I saw that the letter had not even been opened yet, but the priest already knew its contents and the answer that should be sent to the return address indicated on the envelope. His insight was amazing, as was the depth of the short answers he gave. It never sprayed. I looked at the root. After all, you can justify everything eloquently, but the essence will go away. Father Naum always answered briefly and to the point. One or two words from him were enough to understand what to do.

Father Naum always confessed very deeply. The main thing, as it followed from his spiritual practice and from the experience of confession with him, was to achieve contrition, genuine repentance. When confession is superficial, perhaps it is necessary to pay attention to those sins that will allow a person to feel contrition. Father Naum knew how to do this. He could expose any highly intelligent scientist. Valery Yakovlevich Savrey, a professor at Moscow State University and the Moscow Theological Academy, once brought five academicians to him: a mathematician, a philologist and someone else. And Father Naum asked each one a question from his area of knowledge that they were unable to answer. Thus he could convert even the most self-confident to God. A person will humble himself a little, understand the limitations of his mind, and his heart will open to the truths of the Gospel.

The elder cared about the revival of life in the monasteries according to the patristic statutes. He blessed the publication of the charter of Pachomius the Great and distributed it to us for study and development. Father published a lot of sermons and works, at least for his children. He always supplied us with a huge amount of patristic literature. We read all this with his blessing.

Father loved many saints very much. For example, St. Ambrose of Optina. He asked us to make a selection from his instructions - I remember, and I did this. Father Naum somehow intimately experienced the life of this saint: he absorbed this existence dissolved by grace and tried to instill in us a taste for such a life. Through the perception of Father Naum, we somehow vividly perceived the patristic experience and tried to imitate the Holy Fathers in some ways. Father called St. Ambrose of Optina a prophet of the 19th century. And Father Naum himself was for us a prophet of our times.

Father prayed for the people, and the people begged him

Archimandrite Lavrenty (Postnikov), monk of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra:

Father Naum served God and people. It's impossible to please everyone. When he spoke instructions, some accepted his words easily and joyfully, while others walked away saddened (see Matt. 19:22).

We lived next to Father Naum for almost 60 years. I have never seen anything bad in him or from him in all these years. He had his own approach to people. When we adhere to the canonical rules and do not move either to the right or to the left, our path is correct. People went to Father Naum to clarify whether they had deviated from the commanded path. If he had said something wrong, the believing people would not have followed him.

Father Naum was a hard worker. When he prayed, I don’t know. He was always in front of people, all about their needs, delving into everything. Since he was always with the people, teaching them how to live, praying for everyone, it means that the people were praying for him. And for sure, even if the priest sinned, the people begged for their elder.

“For such great elders, only the Judgment of God can determine their spiritual efficiency”

Archimandrite Zacharias (Shkurikhin), monk of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra:

We lived next to Father Naum, our cells were on the same floor. Sometimes they crossed paths at meals. He was strict. I made comments. Sometimes you say something wrong or appearance Something is wrong with you - I saw everything. But he always spoke to the point.

There is close communication between the brethren in the monastery. You can always see whether a person is praying or just like that, “the raven is counting.” Father Naum prayed. He, of course, devoted a lot of time to receiving people. But during the service he tried to concentrate, intensely delving into the words of the service. About synodics, when he was once asked why he didn’t read them, he said: “Let young people read them, so that they have fewer thoughts.”

For such great elders, only the Judgment of God can determine their spiritual efficiency. Now to care for the people in our modern world very difficult. Vladyka Theognost of Sergiev Posad, our vicar, was always very surprised how Father Naum could remember everyone: who was where in the dioceses, in which remote monasteries, in which small towns and in abandoned villages, and at the same time who had what sorrows, problems, internal temptations. I sent something to someone, passed it on through someone... I received letters, wrote replies.

I remember once some servants of God came to him - they had a lot of problems, they had nowhere to live... He immediately blessed them: “Go there. That’s right,” he calls someone over, “that’s where people are going.” The house is now empty. That’s where you’ll live.” The homeless went there; They were immediately settled and lived there for several years. Then they are told: “That’s it, move out.” They, of course, felt sorry to leave what they had acquired over the years, but they left it all for the next residents. And somehow their lives got on better. Everything through his prayer happened smoothly and naturally. It was the same for the monastics - all problems, both internal and purely everyday, were resolved with the blessing of Father Naum.

The Lord created a miracle

Hieroschemamonk Valentin (Gurevich), confessor of the Moscow Donskoy Stavropegial Monastery:

At one time, after a serious operation, I lived in the Ascension Orsha Monastery of the Tver diocese. There, not far from the monastery, there is the village of Emaus. Apparently, at one time some pious landowner gave this name to his estate. And for some reason rock bands gravitate towards this kind of place names. They like biblical names: Nazareth, Emaus, etc. And so they chose this village to hold a rock festival. Since the village is located in an open field, the sound from the amplified speakers deafened the entire area. Such a temptation was allowed. Then Mother Eupraxia (Inber), abbess of the Ascension Orshina Monastery, received a blessing from Archimandrite Naum: everyone should read the akathist to Archangel Michael. Father Naum greatly revered the Archangel - two monasteries in the elder’s homeland are now dedicated to him: a women’s monastery in his native village of Malo-Irmenka, Ordynsky district, Novosibirsk region, and a men’s monastery in the nearby village of Kozikha. It is also providential that the 40 days of Father Naum fell on the celebration of the memory of Archangel Michael and all the Ethereal Powers. Mother Abbess with all the sisters and girls from the monastery shelter, as well as me, who was then living in the monastery, we all began to read the akathist to Archangel Michael. And the Lord performed a miracle. There was silence in the monastery. It was truly a miracle, because as soon as you stepped outside the fence of the monastery, the music thundered; you take a step back into the monastery - and silence! I checked it myself several times - I went outside the fence and came in: literally a meter, but behind the low symbolic fence you couldn’t hear this roar. This is inexplicable from the point of view of the laws of physics.

Another example. The children of Father Naum actively converted their friends and colleagues to the faith. Thus, now a professor at the Moscow Theological Academy and Sretensky Seminary, Alexey Ivanovich Sidorov was still teaching at Moscow State University at that time, where he helped the Finnish Kirsi Marita Ritoniemi, who was studying at the department of Slavic philology, get baptized. She, like him, became one of the spiritual children of Archimandrite Naum. She accepted monasticism. At one time she was the abbess of the Ascension Orshina Monastery, and then the ruling bishop, having transformed the Tver metochion of the monastery into an independent St. Catherine's Monastery, sent Mother Juliana (her name in tonsure) there as abbess. Temptations arose from time to time, and the enemy opposed the revival of the monasteries. Then Mother Juliania and Eupraxia, who was placed in her place at the Ascension Orshin Monastery, could talk together with officials, and all the sisters and girls of the orphanage sang the Trisagion in the church at that time. And everything - thank God - was settled.

“We were all under his prayer as if under cover”

Abbess Elena (Bogdan), abbess of the Holy Resurrection Convent of the city of Murom, Murom diocese of the Vladimir Metropolis:

This is a man of God. Holy life. His mother, schema-nun Sergia, was a very pious woman. They lived near Novosibirsk. Her children all died in infancy. When on St. Nicholas Day 90 years ago she gave birth to another boy - also weak - she prayed: “Lord and Mother of God, leave him to me, let him be like St. Nicholas.” Her maternal prayer was heard. The baby was christened with the name Nikolai. He, like Saint Nicholas, devoted his entire life to serving God and people - this is the most important thing.

He was an exceptional monk for our time. He labored according to the ancient monastic rules. He himself was a worker of obedience and taught us in self-denial. Obedience is above all.

He helped us a lot with his prayer. When the monastics were tempted, the Lord allowed them to sin; Father Naum begged even those severely wounded by sin. Somehow everything was managed invisibly, souls were healed. We were all under his prayer as if under cover - we could feel it. I think that even now the Lord will give him such a blessed state to help everyone who will resort to him.

Imitator of St. Sergius

Abbess Olympias (Baranova), abbess of the Pokrovsky Khotkovo stauropegial convent:

The kindest, the most holy - what else can I say about Father Naum?! He had his own approach to each person. Father instructed the monastics to pray tirelessly and not to forget the Jesus Prayer - this is the most important thing. And all the things of this life will be added (Matthew 6:33), he reminded us. Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him (Matthew 6:8). He himself was a very worthy monk, without exaggeration, to say - an imitator of St. Sergius. Our monastery, where the relics of the parents of the Hegumen of the Russian Land rest, the priest helped and helps with prayers, and incessantly.

Father loved monks very much

Hieromonk Nikolai (Elachev), dean of the Nikolo-Shartomsky monastery of the Shuya diocese of the Ivanovo Metropolis:

Father will forever remain in our hearts. In the Nikolo-Shartomsky monastery, all the brethren were gathered by him. He pulled many of us out of the very abyss of the world and set us on the path to salvation. All of us, with his blessing and his prayers, came to the monastery to serve the Lord and are now grateful to him for this.

How many of his children have already been consecrated bishops and metropolitans! How many hegumens, abbesses, good priests he gave to the flock of Christ, monks and nuns he raised for our holy Church.

The priest had his own method of converting people to monasticism. He will bless you, a man who has previously played tricks in life, to restore the temple: while you are working on the ruins, you will pass such a test! The enemy will beat you up so much that you yourself will understand what is important in life. Asceticism became an urgent necessity instead of an abstract activity. Before coming to the monastery, our brethren revived many churches in Novosibirsk, Priazovsk and other cities.

Years passed before Father Naum gave his blessing for monasticism. Only he, as an elder, knew where this or that soul was leaning. He could immediately tell someone that his path was monasticism, another after 3 years, and a third after 5 years. Each individual - when a person became ready for this.

Father was pleased with our obedience to God, the Gospel, and what the Lord revealed to us through the elder. And our sins upset him. It happened that if we began to act out of willfulness, we immediately got into trouble and returned to him: “What should we do now?..” Father Naum accepted in a fatherly way and did not drive out the repentant.

He could expose your most secret sin - even sometimes somehow imperceptibly, through someone, but everything was revealed to you and you began to understand what you needed to repent of. We all have our weaknesses. But the elder knew who could bear what kind of instruction: he could give someone a thrashing in front of everyone, but not out of passion, but for admonition; and quietly brought someone to their senses in private.

Father loved the monks very much. He was all inspired when someone came to him for a blessing to become a monk. Even if just a person was going to go to the monastery to work, to live at the monastery, the elder was already rejoicing.

Father Naum always instructed: “Read the Gospel - everything is written there.” For us, he is an elder: we know that he did not speak to us on his own, but revealed the will of God.

Marina Manuilova’s story about the Baulin dynasty of doctors, published in May 2015 in the electronic edition of Moskovskaya Street, began like this: “A father had three sons.”

Less than a year later, two of them were gone. The eldest, Nikolai Afanasyevich, passed away in January, the middle one, Vasily Afanasyevich, passed away quite recently - in March 2016. The brothers grew up together, worked side by side at first, and left one after another. Vasily Afanasyevich reached out to the noble profession of a doctor while looking at his older brother. After graduating from Poimskaya secondary school and pedagogical school. V.G. Belinsky entered the Kuibyshev Medical Institute. The brothers wanted to work together and after college, Vasily received a referral to the Poimskaya Second District Hospital, where Nikolai Baulin was the chief physician. For three years, under the guidance of his older brother, Vasily Afanasyevich mastered the most complex profession of a surgeon, acquired the skills of an anesthesiologist-resuscitator, and practiced scientific work. Then there were positions: head physician of the Pachelma district hospital, head physician of the Belinsky district hospital, chief of medicine of the hospital in Pachelma. For 50 years of work in medicine, Vasily Afanasyevich became “Surgeon of the Highest Category”, Excellent Health Care Worker”, “Honored Doctor of the RSFSR”, was awarded the order“Badge of Honor”, Badge of Honor of the Governor of the Penza Region “For the Glory of the Penza Land”. He was also a Member of the Legislative Assembly. Penza region. But no matter what position Vasily Afanasyevich held, he was always a “Doctor from God” (like all Baulins), a reliable, sincere, amazing person. He could not only operate on a patient and leave him, but also take him home if he had no means of transportation, and then also visit and check how the recovery process is going.Vasily Afanasyevich is the greatest example of a rural surgeon and organizer. When he came to his father, Afanasy Nikolaevich, for advice: whether to agree or not to the position of chief physician, he told him: “Agree, if you are ready, that you will come before everyone else and leave later than everyone else.” Vasily Afanasyevich constantly modernized and completed construction of the Pachelma regional hospital, tried to keep young specialists in the village, providing them with housing. He lived for people, loved to repeat that: “a person should lie down like a pebble and get up like a ball, that is, work every day, enjoy the sun and rain. And the most important thing is to be closer to nature, to each other, and to think before saying anything.” He took care of others, but he himself, being the head physician at the Belinsky regional hospital, lived in his office, and never got an apartment for himself. Vasily Afanasyevich, like a real soldier, like a fighter for saving human lives, died at his post. He just arrived after visiting a patient and died. In the Poimsky Historical and Architectural Museum there is a small exhibition telling about the Baulin brothers - about this amazing dynasty. Among the photographs, newspaper clippings and documents there is a copy of the certification work of Vasily Afanasyevich Baulin for confirmation of the highest qualification category in surgery. Instead of a conclusion, the following words are written there: “...In surgery, as nowhere else in medicine, it is not enough to be a specialist, you must remain a doctor, and it is desirable to have a 50 to 50 ratio of these values in order to die with every person who dies and be resurrected with every person saved. » And one more thing: “....the population of villages must be guaranteed to have qualified surgical care. I dedicated my whole life to this.”

To the 90th anniversary of the birth of Archimandrite Naum (Bayborodin)

The elder is remembered by his children, disciples, fellow servants, mother abbess...

“The Jesus Prayer was his main activity”

Matthew, Bishop of Shuisky and Teikovsky:

It's hard to talk about such people... This is a great man. The seeds that he sowed in the all-Russian church field will still bear fruit, which we will see.

He instructed the monastics, as well as the laity, in the Jesus Prayer. He himself lived by prayer and worked for the revival of intelligent work, which was being ruined in our country under the godless Soviet regime. Wrote a Ph.D. thesis on this topic. He practiced smart work and inspired others to strive: “Before,” Father Naum was sometimes perplexed, “five hundred was the elementary work of monastics. Why aren’t we adopting it now?” He blessed everyone differently: some a hundred, some a thousand. Taught proper breathing when praying. Each one was approached individually. Prayer is a secret activity; there can be no general advice here.

About the apostles it is said: cloven tongues appeared to them, as if of fire...(Acts 2:2–3). Saint John the Baptist indicated that the Son of God would baptize Holy Spirit and fire(Luke 3:16). And how I wish the fire would already ignite!(Luke 12:49), says the Lord. This fiery breath was felt in Father Naum.

Father prayed for the people, and the people begged him

Archimandrite Lavrenty (Postnikov), monk of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra:

Father Naum served God and people. It's impossible to please everyone. When he spoke instructions, some accepted his words easily and joyfully, while others walked away saddened (see Matt. 19:22).

“For such great elders, only the Judgment of God can determine their spiritual efficiency”

Archimandrite Zacharias (Shkurikhin), monk of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra:

We lived next to Father Naum, our cells were on the same floor. Sometimes they crossed paths at meals. He was strict. I made comments. Sometimes you say something wrong or there’s something wrong with your appearance – I’ve seen it all. But he always spoke to the point.

For such great elders, only the Judgment of God can determine their spiritual efficiency. Now it is very difficult to care for people in our modern world. Vladyka Theognost of Sergiev Posad, our vicar, was always very surprised how Father Naum could remember everyone: who was where in the dioceses, in which remote monasteries, in which small towns and in abandoned villages, and at the same time who had what sorrows, problems, internal temptations. I sent something to someone, passed it on through someone... I received letters, wrote replies.

The Lord created a miracle

Hieroschemamonk Valentin (Gurevich), confessor of the Moscow Donskoy Stavropegial Monastery:

“We were all under his prayer as if under cover”

Abbess Elena (Bogdan), abbess of the Holy Resurrection Convent of the city of Murom, Murom diocese of the Vladimir Metropolis:

This is a man of God. Holy life. His mother, schema-nun Sergia, was a very pious woman. They lived near Novosibirsk. Her children all died in infancy. When on St. Nicholas Day 90 years ago she gave birth to another boy - also weak - she prayed: “Lord and Mother of God, leave him to me, let him be like St. Nicholas.” Her maternal prayer was heard. The baby was christened with the name Nikolai. He devoted his entire life, like Saint Nicholas, to serving God and people - this is the most important thing.

He was an exceptional monk for our time. He labored according to the ancient monastic rules. He himself was a worker of obedience and taught us in self-denial. Obedience is paramount.

He helped us a lot with his prayer. When the monastics were tempted, the Lord allowed them to sin; Father Naum begged even those severely wounded by sin. Somehow everything was managed invisibly, souls were healed. All of us were under his prayer as if under cover - we could feel it. I think that even now the Lord will give him such a blessed state to help everyone who will resort to him.

Imitator of St. Sergius

Abbess Olympias (Baranova), abbess of the Pokrovsky Khotkovo stauropegial convent:

The kindest, the most holy - what else can I say about Father Naum?! He had his own approach to each person. Father instructed the monastics to pray tirelessly and not to forget the Jesus Prayer - this is the most important thing. And all the things of this life will be added (Matthew 6:33), he reminded us. Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.(Matt. 6:8). He himself was a very worthy monk, without exaggeration, to say - an imitator of St. Sergius. Our monastery, where the relics of the parents of the Hegumen of the Russian Land rest, the priest helped and helps with prayers, and incessantly.

Father loved monks very much

Hieromonk Nikolai (Elachev), dean of the Nikolo-Shartomsky monastery of the Shuya diocese of the Ivanovo Metropolis:

Father Naum always instructed: “Read the Gospel - everything is written there.” For us, he is an elder: we know that he did not speak to us on his own, but revealed the will of God.

Recorded by Olga Orlova

The funniest

Early morning in the village, an ordinary family of mother, son and father without legs,

Early morning in the village, an ordinary family - mother, son and father without legs, which they lost in the war. The son is getting ready to hunt, takes a gun and a cartridge, then his dad crawls up to him and says:
- Son, take me hunting, I really want to!
- Dad, how can I take you, you don’t have legs, what good are you?
- And you, son, put me in a backpack behind your back, and if we suddenly see a bear, you shoot at it - you won’t hit it, you turn your back, and I’ll kill it with one shot, you know it yourself - I shoot a squirrel in the eye from 100 meters! So we’ll bring the loot home, so we’ll have something to eat in the winter.
The son thought and thought and said, “Okay, dad, let’s go.”
They are walking through the forest, the father is sitting in a backpack, and then a bear meets them. The son shoots, misses, shoots again - misses again, turns his back, dad shoots - also waves, again - misses again. The bear is already rushing towards them, well, the son will give it a try, and meanwhile the father is shouting - they say, quickly, they will catch up! They’ve been running for an hour, they don’t have the strength, the son understands that he and his dad won’t run that far - they’ll both be lost, so he decided to throw off his backpack and runs on.
He comes running home all out of breath and says to his mother:
- Mother, we no longer have a father... - with tears in his eyes.
His mother calmly puts down the frying pan, turns to him and says:
- How did you fuck me with your desire, then my dad came running 10 minutes ago in his arms and said that we no longer have a son!

They invited a guy at work to a corporate party and allowed him to come

They invited a man at work to a corporate party, they allowed him to come with his wives, the corporate party was themed - a masquerade, you had to come in costumes, with masks. No sooner said than done, they got ready before going out, and his wife had a headache, she said, “Go without me, and I’ll lie down at home for now,” and she herself came up with a cunning plan - to follow the man, how he would behave at the masquerade, to pester Zinka from accounting or even get drunk. Before going out, she changed her costume, came and saw her hubby - first dancing with one, then twirling the other, guard! She decided to check how far he would go, invited him to dance, they danced and whispered in his ear: - Maybe we can retire...
They retired, did their business, and the wife quickly went home. Her husband arrived a little later, she decided to ask him:
F - Well? How do you like your corporate party?!
M - Yes, gray boredom, the men and I decided to go play poker, and before that Petrovich, our boss asked him to exchange suits, since he had dirty his, so he was lucky, can you imagine, some woman in the ass gave!

The girl invited the guy to visit, romantic, that's all. And

The girl invited the guy to visit, romantic, that's all. And at that moment his stomach began to twist, he simply had no strength to endure it anymore. They come into her apartment and the girl says:
- Come in, don’t be shy, go into the room, and now I’ll go to the bathroom and powder my nose...
It was somehow awkward for the guy to ask her ahead of her, so he decided to be patient, although he no longer had the strength to endure it. He walks into the room and looks - there’s a big dog sitting there. He took it and piled it in the room, and thinks that he will then blame everything on the dog, while he, contentedly, goes to the kitchen to drink tea.
The girl with the bath comes out and asks him:
D: Why don’t you go into the room?
P: There’s a big dog there, I’m afraid of it.
D: I found someone to be scared of, she’s plush...
P: Wow, she gave a shit like a real one!

Perestroika, collective farms are slowly dying out, everyone has gathered

Perestroika, collective farms are slowly dying out, all the animals have gathered in the barnyard and are discussing their future fate.
The bulls came out first and said: We must leave here while the hooves are still intact. The roof of the hangar is already leaking, it’s not raining, so we’re swimming like ducks. Next come the pigs: they haven’t eaten normal food for 100 years, the straw is all rotten, they give water once every three days. It’s impossible to live like this, you need to get out. All the other animals supported: Yes, yes, stop putting up with this and let’s go. One Sharik sits still, everyone asks him:
- Sharik, why are you sitting?! Come with us!
Sharik answers:
- No, I won’t go with you, I have a prospect!
Animals:
- What is the prospect? You'll die of hunger here!
Ball:
- No, guys, I have a prospect here!
Animals:
- Well, what prospects do you have here, you’ll get sick, catch fleas and die alone here!
Ball:
- No guys, I have a prospect...
Animals:
- What kind of prospect is that?!?!?!
Ball:
- I heard here that the landlady told the owner “... if things continue like this, then we’ll suck Sharik all winter...”

The son comes up to his father and asks: - Dad, what is it?

The son approaches his father and asks:
- Dad, what is virtual reality?
Dad, after thinking a little, says to his son:
- Son, to give you an answer to this question, go to your mother, grandparents, and ask them if they could sleep with an African for 1 million dollars. He approaches his mother and asks:
- Mom, could you sleep with an African for 1 million dollars?
- Well, son, it’s not a tricky matter, and we need money, of course I could!
Then he approaches his grandmother with the same question, and the grandmother answers him:
- Of course, grandson! If I had a million dollars, I would live the same number of years!!!
It's grandfather's turn, grandfather answers:
- Well, actually, once doesn’t count, so of course - yes, with this million we would build a house by the sea, and finally leave my grandmother!
The son returns to his father with the results, and the father says to him:
- You see, son, in virtual reality we have three million dollars, but in real reality - 2 simple #tuts and one faggot!

New jokes

An experienced psychotherapist tells a student how he managed

An experienced psychotherapist tells a student how he managed to cure a person who was sure that he was an alarm clock:
- Can you imagine, if they didn’t start him in the evening, then at seven in the morning he started to have real withdrawal...
- And how did you deal with this?
- Every evening I reduced the winding time. One day
I didn’t turn it on at all for a day and it was completely cured.
After some time the student says:
- You know, professor, I managed to cure a man who was sure that he was a clock hand.
The amazed professor, in bewilderment:
- Tell me, colleague, how did you do it?
- Everything is very simple. First, we infected him with delusions of grandeur - we convinced him that he was not an arrow, but an entire alarm clock. We already know how to treat alarm clocks...

Night. Street. An old lady hails a taxi - Take it, son, to

Night. Street. Old lady hailing a taxi
- Take me, son, to the cemetery!!!
The taxi driver replied:
- Old eccentric! Are you missing a day, grandma?
No luck! - he slammed the door forcefully, pressed the gas, the engine was already shaking...
But horror quietly creeps into my heart: my grandmother is running with the car nearby!!!
And the speed is one hundred! It won't take long before you get sick. The guy's eyes came out of their sockets.
The curls under the cap began to stir... And the damned grandmother was already wheezing...
Anticipating the inevitable end, the driver slowed down in despair:
- Are you, grandma, a witch, or what?
- Wake up, darling! You caught my coat in the door!

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